Last night, Stephen Colbert really tore into Rep. Steve King (R-IA) for all his recent assholery, by "suggesting" Mitt Romney pick King as his Vice Presidential candidate. One could only hope.
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (4/2/2012): What I have said is that, in every decade, in every state, there has always been babies that were born, lived, and died, and some of them a long and healthy life, without ever using a dollar worth of health care expenditures.
Yes, in every state, babies are born all the time who are delivered at home, don't get any vaccinations, never see a dentist, make it through school without ever getting strep throat, or head lice, or pink eye, or mono, have perfect vision, never get sick as an adult, keep all of their mental faculties, and die happily at the age of 110, surrounded by all of their loving children, who also were born at home and never got vaccinated or sick. (wild audience applause)
And after all, Americans were fine before "modern medicine". They worked hard, raised families, and passed away of natural causes at the ripe old age of 28.
Reason #2 King is the perfect veep: Steve King is looking out for small businesses. Last Monday, he outlined how business owners could avoid discrimination lawsuits from gay employees.
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (4/2/2012): I would think that unless someone makes their sexuality public, it's not anybody's business. So neither is it our business to tell an employer who to hire. ... If you don't know anybody's sexuality, you can't discriminate against them.
Hear that, the gays? It's up to you to keep us from discriminating. Because once we know you're gay, I have a natural desire to fire you. And, unlike gay, discriminating is not a choice.
Video and full transcript below the fold.
After a bruising Republican primary season, the foreplay is over. And like all Republican foreplay, it was expensive, vindictive, and ended with something pretty predictable. But now that Mitt Romney has the nomination pretty much nailed down, there's one question everyone's asking: who will Romney pick as his running mate?
For months, names like Marco Rubio and Paul Ryan have swirled through the rumor mill. Unfortunately, Bain Capital bought the mill, and laid off all the rumor mer.... shit! (breaks character and starts laughing) Keep on going! Well, keep going!
Well, that's not going to stop me from speculating wildly, which brings me to my new segment, Searching for Mr. Right.
It is crucial that Romney pick a running mate to help him with the groups he's weak with: women, Hispanics, African-Americans, evangelical Christians, and Republicans. Now, one man out there who would shore up Mitt's support with the far right is Iowa Congressman and unblinking Nordic death's head Steve King. You may remember Congressman King from this historic exchange during my Congressional testimony.
9/24/2010:
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA: In Iowa, we know corn. ... And I thought it was curious that on the farm where you harvest the corn, I was watching you actually unload a crate, rather than load the crate, so it was curious to me, that looked like the corn was going the wrong direction, and I only presume they must have run the film backwards
STEPHEN COLBERT: I was a cornpacker, and I know that term is offensive to some people, because cornpacker is a derogatory term for a gay Iowan.
(audience busts out laughing)
Now, I would like to apologize to Representative King, I have since learned the correct term is cobgobbler.
Well, in the last week, Congressman King has repeatedly proven why he is the #1 choice to be the #2 guy, starting with this nuanced critique of Obamacare.
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (4/2/2012): What I have said is that, in every decade, in every state, there has always been babies that were born, lived, and died, and some of them a long and healthy life, without ever using a dollar worth of health care expenditures.
Yes, in every state, babies are born all the time who are delivered at home, don't get any vaccinations, never see a dentist, make it through school without ever getting strep throat, or head lice, or pink eye, or mono, have perfect vision, never get sick as an adult, keep all of their mental faculties, and die happily at the age of 110, surrounded by all of their loving children, who also were born at home and never got vaccinated or sick. (wild audience applause)
And after all, Americans were fine before "modern medicine". They worked hard, raised families, and passed away of natural causes at the ripe old age of 28.
Reason #2 King is the perfect veep: Steve King is looking out for small businesses. Last Monday, he outlined how business owners could avoid discrimination lawsuits from gay employees.
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (4/2/2012): I would think that unless someone makes their sexuality public, it's not anybody's business. So neither is it our business to tell an employer who to hire. ... If you don't know anybody's sexuality, you can't discriminate against them.
Hear that, the gays? It's up to you to keep us from discriminating. Because once we know you're gay, I have a natural desire to fire you. And, unlike gay, discriminating is not a choice. That's why I insist no one at the Report tell me their sexual orientation, from the lowest intern, to my cameraman Julian. Right, Jules?
All right, say hi to the wife and kids for me.
So folks, we don't need anti-discrimination laws any more than we need the Americans with Disabilities Act. You hear that, disabled people? Stop rubbing your disability lifestyle in my face! Just let me continue thinking that you're a lazy man in a chair from the future.
And I say, "You go, Steve King!" And I assume this means you won't be telling us whether you're gay. Although, coming up with a great excuse to keep everyone in the closet is a pretty big hint.
So Mitt Romney, take a close look at Steve King for the ticket. But not too close, he might get the wrong idea. After all, we're coming up on cornpacking season. We'll be right back.
Stephen also warned of Easter being
under attack from Australians, and then fell into a
shame spiral because of an elderly German gymnast.
Meanwhile, Jon Stewart compared how Obama celebrated Easter vs. Passover, and then had a Faith/Off between the two holidays on which one is more appealing to children.
He then took
took both NBC and Fox News to task for their coverage of the Trayvon Martin murder, but on separate issues.
Stephen talked with former auto industry executive
Bob Lutz, who got into a push-up contest with Stephen. Guess who won? Jon talked with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist
Tim Weiner about the history of the FBI, which went long. Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2